Thursday, April 23, 2009

Breathe Easy as the Guilt Fades Away.....

Here it comes folks, the time has arrived. I introduce to you the Greenest TV in the World!! The Home Theater Specialists of America bring you the "Guiltless Green Home Theater", inclusive of a Sharp front projector and Blu-ray player, an Integra audio receiver, Speakercraft in-wall speakers, home theater chairs, a screen, in home lighting controls and (the icing on the cake!) 4 solar panels. The whole theater setup only uses 1.2 kWh will operating and the installation of the solar panels will allow you to power your system for 19 hours without using grid electricity, so you can watch a plethora of terrible shows for over half of your awake non-working life without feeling bad! Too good to be true you're saying...maybe this will change your mind. The system only costs $30,000! What a steal!

Close your eyes with me now, and picture yourself floating above your 5000 square foot home, the pool is lit at night and looks cool, incandesent light bulbs light up your house like a Halloween pumpkin, and as we fly in through your poorly insulated walls, we zoom past two unused computers with screen savers of Johnny playing little league, you hear the buzz of the dishwasher, washer and dryer running, it's a cool 64 degrees inside your home, and now you are seated in front of your new theater, entirely free of the guilt associated with plopping down for the 8th viewing of Godfather III. Now open your eyes and fork over 2 years of your daughters college tuition and I promise you guilt free TV viewing for as long as you'll avoid that inevitable heart attack from those wonderful microwave meals your Misses has been feeding your family for years. And you thought your hybrid suburban parked outside was doing wonders for your guilt levels.

The guilt associated with not being "Green" enough haunts us all. That is why you should be on the lookout for several new "Guiltless Green" products such as the "Flex Fuel Limo", "Organic Wine and Cheese fed free range Beef Steaks", and for those of you too thrifty to hire your own landscaping crew to cut down those pesky trees dropping leaves in your pool, the "Low Carbon, Electric Powered, Tree Mangling Chainsaw".

The Greenest TV in the World:


rmk said...

Man, thanks for a good chuckle--I needed that!

Emily said...

You really have to watch out for these gimmicks that pray upon people wanting to good things for the environment. Another example is the Lexus hybrid. For example, their GS hybrid gets 22/25 mpg city/highway and the nonhybrid GS gets 17/24 (they have the same 340 horsepower). Oh, and the hybrid version costs $3000 more.

TravisR said...

It is funny but Sharp, Sony, Pioneer, and the rest of the HDTV producers have become accustom to high price TVs selling Watch CES coverage and you will see thinner, wider, higher contrast, 3D, OLED, or some other type of TV being shown off with similar price tags. Greener TV seems a reasonable option to try and sell, and if it works out you will see cheaper more mainstream versions coming out I expect.

Then again I expect more of this amusement, I am really looking forward to the late night TV ads for greener items. I can hardly wait for the next Ronco or TimeLife only available by this special offer uber-enviromentally friendly device to make your daily life easier and greener.